Let's see if I can paint a picture for you. One that covers the topic without causing argument as the intention is to state facts.
- I trust my significant other completely.
- I could read his/her messages if I wanted to but I don't.
- I know my partner.
- Illusion of peace
- We are happy.
The lie takes some time to reveal itself. When they trust them they do not need access to the content of everything they do, and they allow them to have friends of the opposite/same sex dependent upon their orientation. (Again, not a question nor up for debate). They claim they trust them until they find they talk to someone who is not them and have a trusting relationship. Imagine someone else trusting YOUR PARTNER, now imagine that you are so insecure that you can't handle someone in need talking to them about things that bother them, or blowing off steam about the things that frustrate them.
The problem is that you take them to be keeping your confidence and understanding that you are talking to them because you trust them. This is a misconception because no matter what they tell you they are giving their other half bits and pieces, just enough for them to decide that you have an ulterior motive instead of just being depressed and needing someone to talk to that doesn't have an emotional reaction but instead gives you advice without prejudice. When you think someone has taken you as you are then find out they truly did not the blow is a harsh one.
This is where the lie that they know and trust their significant other comes into play. Beliefs others do not share will offend them. It is normal to be offended what is not normal is to tell anyone they are not good enough because they do not share your point of view. The ignorant morons, worthless, people who would take it upon themselves to tell you that you are not good enough because you do not live the life they do are not worth wasting your time on.
The accusations can be bold and direct or cloaked behind some subtle phrasing but they are there. It is not up to you to change to suit them but up to you to decide if you stay with those who do not accept you as you are or move on with your life. People tend to read their own phobias into others, the way they are is in no way a reflection of who you are. When they compare their beliefs to yours without knowing yours it is as if they are telling you that you are not good enough. You do not need those people in your life.
Move on and Forget
Move on with your life, leave them to the delusion that they are both secure and happy. Soon enough someone will come along to prove they are not. Karma will take care of those who think it appropriate to judge those who do not suit the standard they set.
Until next time, this is my life. Clean up around your own back door and you won't have time to worry with mine. What do you do when those you thought were friends show their true colors? Can you walk away? Do you clear out the memories because they really do fall under the label of ex for a reason.