The idea that everyone has the same heart as you do will get you into trouble each and every time you make the mistake of believing they do. (Definitions below from Merriam Webster)
*Friend defined by websters
a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
*Definition of illusion
1 a obsolete : the action of deceiving
b (1) : the state or fact of being intellectually deceived or misled : misapprehension
(2) : an instance of such deception
True Colors Always Shine Through
It doesn't matter what someone claims to be their actions will always speak louder than words. It does not matter what someone tells you they believe when you can see what they are doing. It is nice to have someone say they are good, that they help others all they can. When the actions they perform show that the only help they believe in is financial, and they are only giving lip service when you are doing things for them and finding excuses not to do anything to help you even when you ask they are showing their true colors. Let me make it clearer for you by answering a few questions.
Do you always have to go to them or is it balanced?
You are the one that always has to go to them, or initiate first contact even though they live in the same building. This indicates that they are not really as interested in a relationship with you as they claim. While you comprehend that they are busy as they have children to it is not all that time consuming to ask you how you are. They pretend to be glad when you have good new or upset when you have bad news but you see the not so hidden irritation when you go to visit them. Never mind the fact that they will gladly send not only their children for you to watch but visitors children as well without bothering to ask if it is alright with you.
When you are dependent upon someone else to help you run your errands it can be a tricky situation. You pay for their gas, more than it took them to get you to the specified destination and return while you also clean their home without asking anything in return because they take you to run your errands. It doesn't take a full tank of gas to go two miles, or even twenty miles but that's about what they get for taking you that far. They claim you are a freeloader because they never bother to tell anyone that you pay them to take you on your errands, or wait until they are going anyway.
The worse part is doing little things for them before you discover who they really are. They are upset they cannot go to school to eat with their child so you make it possible. Only one of them thanks you then the other makes a long post about the good they did while they were there. Never mind the fact that they would not have been there if it wasn't for you.
Then there are the jabs they make at you when they think that you don't know they are making fun of you. The reason they leave out the things that you do for them when they talk to people is so they can highlight the things they do for you and make it look like you are taking advantage of their good nature.
Ending of False Friendships
When the friendship ends the true colors come through even more than before. You can be out somewhere and hear them talking about you. They are doing it on purpose to make themselves feel better because someone, namely you, knows exactly what they really are. They are living in fear that you will tell the rest of the world.
Here's the cute part of false friendships, when it ends you don't have to do anything. In time everyone else will see the truth just the way that you did. Here's hoping you find out before you let your heart dictate doing something to thoughtful for them so that you can focus the love on someone who actually deserves it.
#friendships #illusions #toxicfriendships #relationships